lizzledpink: (tosh)
[personal profile] lizzledpink
Title: By Either Fire or Fire
Author: [livejournal.com profile] lizzledpink 
Rating: PG
Characters: Rose, Tosh, Jack
Summary: It's the Kiss the Boys Goodbye dance, and Tosh finds an unexpected friend.

A/N: Been meaning to post this for a few weeks now, and actually I wrote it before the Tosh fic I posted not a day ago. Oh, and the pairing(s) crept up on me by accident. They were just supposed to meet, but then stuff happened. /huffs/ Silly characters.
Disclaimer: I don't own, please don't sue. I don't make money for this, either.
Beta: [livejournal.com profile] celuthea ; thank you, m'dear!

:::

A blue light flashed in the middle of the night, somewhere in a dark alley. From the light, a girl appeared.

She looked to be in her early twenties, with full lips, brown eyes, and hair as gold as sunshine. She wore a blue jacket and jeans, and carried a small black backpack.

Quickly, she looked around, assessing her own location. “Okay, it’s nineteen forty-one in this dimension… Slow one,” she murmured to herself. Carefully, the young woman plucked a poster off the brick wall, and read it. “Cardiff, nineteen forty-one. Should’ve guessed. It’s always Cardiff,” she said, laughing a little to herself. “Well… Low chance he’ll be here, I suppose. But it can’t hurt to look around.” She stuck her tongue between her teeth in a cheeky grin. Then, she stopped, and chuckled. “I’ve been doing this too long. I’m talking to myself.”

She looked at the poster again, and then at her attire. Her eyes turned to the backpack she carried.

Rose smiled.

:::

The Cardiff dance was absolutely dazzling, and brought a wistful smile to Rose’s lips. The music was so… She couldn’t find a word. There was something about music from the forties that swept her away, a fact which she’d only discovered a couple years back. January nineteen forty-one, in her original universe. Standing atop a spaceship parked across the face of Big Ben, she’d discovered a place in her heart that she hadn’t known was empty, and though she would always belong to the Doctor, the forties, and the man who introduced her to them, would always remain a soft spot.

In her backpack, she’d brought a few supplies, just in case she appeared somewhere and her things might be anachronistic. Some parallel worlds ran faster than others, and some, like this one, slower. She’d been as far as about a century in either direction. In fact, her TARDIS-blue jacket had come from the year 2104, though she suspected its true origins were somewhere much, much farther away. There was a little circle inscribed underneath the collar, with swirls and lines that looked remarkably similar to the Doctor’s language. Rose liked to think that this jacket had some how fallen through from the Time War, and ended up with her. A message, to keep her going. She wondered who had worn it, and why it seemed fit her perfectly. Bigger on the inside? Nah.

So, she’d kept it. Right now, she was wearing it over a soft white blouse, and she’d changed from her jeans to a long, blue skirt. It wasn’t quite in fashion, but it made her fit in enough. A few people glanced her way, but mainly to note her beauty, not her choice of wear. Rose smiled back, flattered, but mostly just stayed seated at the table, lounging, watching people dance so carefree through the troubling times.

“Mind if I sit here?” a woman asked. Rose turned her head, and blinked in slight surprise. It was a Japanese woman, smiling shyly at her.

“’Course not, go on,” Rose said with an encouraging smile. “I’m Rose,” she said, smiling and holding out her hand.

“Toshiko,” the young woman replied, smiling back, a bit nervous. “Thanks.”

“Not a problem,” Rose replied, laughing a little. “Shy of all the men?”

“Not… exactly,” Toshiko said, smiling slightly. “Just don’t want to be bothered, and for some reason, they’re staying away from you.”

Rose laughed. “Alright. Why, do you have a boyfriend?”

“I wish,” she mumbled. “You?”

“Used to. We got separated. I’m travelling around, trying to find him, actually.”

“Good luck,” Toshiko said, smiling. “Um, do you mind? I just have a bit of work I’d like to do…”

“No, that’s fine. Go ahead.” Rose nodded, and turned back to facing the crowd, still smiling. She sat back, absolutely relaxed. Toshiko, beside her, had pulled out a piece of paper and was scribbling rapidly.

Rose watched the figures dance by, and then closed her eyes, washing herself away in the music, and dreaming. She imagined herself dancing with them – losing herself in the brass and the soft strum of the bass. First it was the Doctor – before his regeneration, actually. She loved them both, but usually thought of the more recent version. His eyes were fixed on her as his arms carried her through the room, across the steps of the dance. A soft twirl here, a tiny dip there, a moment, in her little fantasy, where she was entirely reliant on him to keep her upright.

Then he let go of her hand, in her little dream, and for a brief moment, she was freefalling. Another set of arms caught her – differently, but just as warmly, just a strong. A different set of blue eyes. Captain Jack Harkness, Rose thought with a little sigh. And she danced with him in her head, too.

Not “dancing.” Just dancing. Either was as intimate as the other, in different ways.

With a sad smile, Rose opened her eyes again. It was nineteen forty-one, in Cardiff, and Rose was alone at the dance, and oh, how she missed them. But her Doctor was gone, and Jack, gorgeous Jack, had died saving their life on Satellite Five. Oh, to dream…

Fully returning to her senses after the daydream, Rose glanced at Toshiko. The young woman had finished scribbling and was frowning worriedly over the paper. Curious, Rose peeked over her shoulder and felt her jaw drop.

“That’s… I don’t even know. Toshiko, those are some incredible maths. You must be brilliant.”

Toshiko looked at Rose, surprised, and then ducked her head in embarrassment. “Thank you. It’s… sort of a hobby.”

“It’s genius,” Rose assured her. “That’s not only a hobby, that’s rare, rare talent. I’ve only met one other person who could do figures that complicated.”

“Who?”

“My, um, boyfriend, I suppose,” she said, smiling sheepishly. “And he has a bit of an advantage. Does somebody pay you to do that? Somebody'd better.”

Tosh smiled hesitantly. “I make a very good wage, yes.”

“Good,” Rose said firmly. “I’m glad. You have a gift. Don’t waste it, Toshiko.”

“I… Call me Tosh,” she said.

“Tosh, then. Friends?” Rose asked, grinning.

“Um… I’m only here for the night,” Tosh said sadly. “Sorry.”

Rose shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. I’m friends with all sorts of people I’ll probably never meet again. As long as I remember them, though, they’re still going to be my friend. As long as for one moment in all the times there ever were, are, or will be, we made each other smile, then we were friends. So, Tosh, friends?”

Tosh smiled a bit wider, and nodded. “Friends,” she agreed. “You sound a bit like my friend, you know.”

“Oh?”

“My boss, actually. He’s here, somewhere. Most likely making eyes at one of the men in uniform,” she said exasperatedly. Then she clapped a hand over her mouth.

Rose rolled her eyes. “Don’t worry, Tosh. I don’t mind. Is he handsome? It’s always the handsome ones that go the other way,” Rose said, winking.

Tosh let out a relieved part-sigh, part-laugh. “He’ll go for both, actually. Anything on two legs, I’ve always said.”

“And is he handsome?” Rose prodded again, a bit teasing.

“Dashing, but…” Tosh shook her head. “He’s not for me. He’d want something casual. I can’t do casual. I can barely manage something that isn’t casual,” Toshiko said, sighing.

Rose looked at Toshiko speculatively, and then suddenly, rose to her feet, keeping her eyes locked with Tosh’s. She smiled, and extended at hand. “May I have this dance, Tosh?”

Flustered, Tosh blurted, “What?”

“Come on. It doesn’t have to mean a thing. Just a dance between friends, as simple as that. A bit of fun. Please?”

She considered it, and then slowly, the woman nodded, smiling. “Yes. Rose.” And she took her hand.

The band struck up a fast-paced, cheerful song, and Rose drew Tosh out to the floor, and took the lead as they danced on light feet, smiling and just having fun.

For a moment, Toshiko let herself forget. Never mind that she was over sixty years out of her time. Never mind that she needed to finish those equations and get them to safety. Never mind that Jack seemed to have disappeared somewhere, or that she might never return. This lovely young woman had charmed her with a smile and asked only that she be herself and come out of her shell for one glorious nineteen forty-one night.

It was much, much easier than expected.

Tosh laughed delightedly, causing Rose to beam back. It felt like they were children, letting go of everything and just being young and free.

The song began to draw to close. “Thank you,” Tosh said.

For a moment, Rose brought her in close, almost-but-not-quite overstepping the boundary between friendship and romance. “A man I once loved showed me how to do this, how to be free. You looked like you needed it. Don’t thank me, Tosh. Remember me, and when you get the chance, find somebody to love, so you can remember me and then teach them back. Do that. Promise?”

“Promise,” Toshiko swore softly.

“Thank you,” Rose replied, equally quiet. The song came to a slow halt. Rose kissed Tosh’s cheek, her lips lingering for just a moment too long by the woman’s skin, before she drew back and gave Tosh a beatific smile.

Tosh smiled shyly back.

:::

Suddenly, Rose’s watch (why hadn’t Toshiko noticed earlier she was wearing a watch?) beeped. She glanced at it and her face fell.

“Oh, no. I have to go…” she mumbled.

“That’s not from nineteen forty-one,” Tosh noticed suddenly, stepping back. “That – that almost looks like a Vortex Manipulator!”

Rose’s gaze sharpened suddenly. “You know what a Vortex Manipulator is?”

“It – Jack once told me, that’s what it was called.”

“Jack? You – you don’t mean Captain Jack Harkness?”

Tosh’s mouth fell wide open.

Rose smiled sadly. “That’s a yes. Wait – but if this is nineteen forty-one…”

She brought her hands to the back of her neck, and unclasped a silver chain around her neck. As Rose lifted it, Toshiko saw a pendant on the end. It was gold, shaped, of course, in the form of a rosebud, with little jewels around the edges that glistened with a color somewhere between red and pink. For some reason, Tosh couldn’t put a name to the jewel used. It was beautiful.

“Please, Tosh. Give this to him, for me? It’s either a paradox completed, because he got it from me in the first place, or… Or, I just want him to have it. Please, take it, Tosh.”

Tosh held out a hand, moved to trust Rose. She wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was because Rose was very pretty, or perhaps it was the pain in the other woman’s eyes, or maybe it was something else altogether. It didn’t matter.

Rose dropped the necklace, and Tosh grasped it tight.

Then, startling a gasp out of her, Rose pulled Tosh into a searing goodbye kiss, unintentionally open-mouthed – not that she was complaining. Rose tasted sweet, like honey, and for a moment Tosh thought her heart had stopped – no, that time had stopped. Time sang with her, she thought. Whatever that meant.

Incredible.

Rose licked at Tosh’s lips a final time, and then pulled back, slowly, as if to savour something. “Find somebody to love you, to complete you,” Rose ordered, slightly breathless. She smiled. “Find them, keep them close. And please, my friend, never forget me. Goodbye, Tosh.”

She stepped backwards, leaving Tosh staring. A flash of blue light enveloped her, and then she was gone, as though she’d never been here.

The dance continued. Rose’s disappearance had gone unnoticed.

Well, nearly.

Jack dashed in out of nowhere, his eyes wide. “I saw a light. Tosh, what the hell was that?”

Tosh blinked, and then smiled. “A friend,” she said quietly. “She gave me this.”

As her fingers unfurled, Tosh saw Jack’s eyes widen.

“Oh, Rose,” he murmured, picking the pendant from her hand. His eyes were solemn, and somehow desperate for something unnamable.

Something clicked. “She died, didn’t she?” Tosh asked softly.

“Yes.”

There was little to say.

“She was beautiful.”

Jack let out a slow breath, and slowly a smile crept up upon his face. “She was,” he agreed. “Inside and out, she always was.”

Tosh smiled. “Still is,” she corrected softly.

For a moment, Tosh had the pleasure of seeing Captain Jack Harkness completely gobsmacked. Then he grinned, and kissed her forehead. “And she will always be. Come on, Toshiko. Let’s find you a partner among these good fellows, shall we?”

Laughing, Tosh decided that maybe going back could wait just a little longer. It wasn’t every day, even with time-travel, that one was invited to dance.

Why should we celebrate
These dead men more than the dying?
It is not to ring the bell backward
Nor is it an incantation
To summon the spectre of a Rose.

- T.S. Eliot, “Little Gidding”


Date: 2010-10-21 10:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jewelsavalon.livejournal.com
Oooooh I love this! I love Tosh, and miss her dearly.

Date: 2010-10-21 10:45 pm (UTC)
ext_452734: (tosh)
From: [identity profile] lizzledpink.livejournal.com
Thanks! (me too :P)

Date: 2010-10-21 11:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] firefly-124.livejournal.com
This was utterly gorgeous.

Date: 2010-10-22 12:17 am (UTC)
ext_452734: (rose)
From: [identity profile] lizzledpink.livejournal.com
Why, thank you! (I like the word gorgeous.)

Date: 2010-10-22 03:25 am (UTC)
ext_76727: (Default)
From: [identity profile] remuslives23.livejournal.com
Oh, that was so bittersweet. :)

Date: 2010-10-22 03:51 am (UTC)
ext_452734: (tosh)
From: [identity profile] lizzledpink.livejournal.com
Do you read everything, or is it just me?

Thank you! Bittersweet... Yes. There's actually a "Bad Wolf" sighting in the episode, which somewhat inspired this... I really did love Captain Jack Harkness, as in the real one, but at the same time the Jack/Ianto shipper in me was going, NOOOOOOOOOO, and also at the same time, I felt like Tosh had, once again, fallen to the wayside during the episode. All of that coalesced into, ooh, what if Rose met Tosh at the dance?

And then somehow Rose and Tosh became friends, and then somehow they started making out... /boggled/ :D Anyway, thanks!

Date: 2010-10-22 07:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lyryk.livejournal.com
That was just lovely! That kiss was just spectacular. And I love the lines you quoted at the end. Thanks for this!

Date: 2010-10-23 12:02 am (UTC)
ext_452734: (tosh)
From: [identity profile] lizzledpink.livejournal.com
The things you find when you Google "T S Eliot +rose." /smiles/ Thank YOU! :D

Date: 2010-10-23 12:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] siriuslyblack95.livejournal.com
Oooo i loved this :)
Rose and Jack are just the best.
And I can imagine that Rose would really get on well with the Torchwood team :)

Date: 2010-10-23 12:33 am (UTC)
ext_452734: (rose)
From: [identity profile] lizzledpink.livejournal.com
Ooh, d'you think she would? /butters many parsnips/ Thank you! :D

Date: 2010-10-23 03:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nancybrown.livejournal.com
I liked that Tosh had fun too. :)

Date: 2010-10-23 07:48 pm (UTC)
ext_452734: (Default)
From: [identity profile] lizzledpink.livejournal.com
Tosh got snogged by a hot blonde. No complaints there. :D Thanks!

Date: 2010-10-27 02:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alt_universe_me.livejournal.com
I loved this! The interaction between Tosh and Rose was so cute, and I love that they'll always be friends, even if they don't see each other again. Wonderful! :)

Date: 2010-10-27 02:55 am (UTC)
ext_452734: (tosh)
From: [identity profile] lizzledpink.livejournal.com
I like to think they'll also be friends even if they never meet in canon, etc. :D Thank you!

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